So I show up at my apartment, and I can see that the front door is open. Through the screen, I see someone standing there, looking at one of the poems I’ve got taped to my wall. I walk a little closer, and realize it’s Ben.
At this point, I’m a little spooked. How did he get inside? What was he doing inside? What’s going on?
Ben, all smiles, shakes my hand when I walk in, and tells me that the door was open. I’m totally confused at this point, and I have no idea what’s going on. I think this is also part of whatever he has planned, but he tells me, sincerely, that the door was open when he arrived. He thought I was inside somewhere, hiding. He wasn’t sure if I had left briefly, or what. So he stuck around.
"Someone could have stolen something" is all he says. And so I begin to peek around the apartment.
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This is what I found, sitting in the middle of my dark living room. I flipped on the switch, saw the box, and just starting grinning like a son of a bitch. I believe, shortly after I saw this, I began referring to Ben as "You Bastard." 
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| Un-fucking believable.
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