I’ve got a cloud of negativity surrounding me currently. Not sure where this came from, but it’s here and I can’t seem to shake it.
The personal project that’s been consuming most of my free time lately has suddenly fizzled out. I’m not sure if it’s my unhappiness with the layout or design, but the fire that kept me thinking about it at all hours… has faded. My compulsion to complete it has dulled, and I no longer feel the excitement or urgency that used to greet me, whenever I’d sit down to work on it.
I’m really not sure where this funk came from. I have little to be sad about; in fact, things are going remarkably well in all aspects of my life.
It’s an overriding sense of negativity. That’s as close as I can come to describe it. Glass half empty. Which is frustrating, because I tend to be of the half-full variety. That was one of the things I loved about poetry, and looking at the world through the eyes of poetry – everything had a story attached to it. The world was full with stories, opportunities, possibilities – it was simply a matter of looking closely enough.
And now? To have an outlook where the things I do and create seem fleeting? Where my best ideas and good intentions all seem dull and lustreless, when I hold them up to the light? It’s frustrating and, more than anything – annoying.
I’m not normally like this. I feel like a wet candle. And I can’t shake the feeling.
