Like Two Giant Pieces of Steamed Asparagus…

You want to know what my legs felt like, on the ride home?

Not five minutes into my ride at the end of the day… I realized why I thought the morning trek was so pleasant. It’s mainly downhill. Doh!

Sadly, I am in terrible shape. My legs started to give out on me soon after I left the Mart. By the time I was barely halfway home, my legs felt like burning, hurting fire. I hate to admit this but, I ended up having to pull over and stop for a bit. How sad is that?

After I felt my legs retu… wait. After I felt my legs go from throbbing constriction to a paralytic sort of numbness, I got back on the bike. As I slooowly, sloooowly crawled down the street… children lined up on the sidewalks to taunt me. They’d yell a few things at me, then slowly walk up the sidewalk and wait for me to pass by. They’d yell some more, then walk a bit farther and wait for me to catch up. This is how slow I was moving. :|

One particular smarmy kid held out a glass of water for me, as if I were some marathon cyclist rounding out his fourth hour on the road. And yes, in a moment of weakness… I reached out for the cup. That little bastard, right before my hand could grab… he drops the thing on the ground and just stands there, smirking at me.

And you are absolutely, god damn right. You betcha. Right after I saw what he did, I aimed my bike at the fucker and tried to mow him down. But I was so tired (and I was moving so slowly), I just bounced off of him. As I rode by, I could hear him behind me, hysterical with laughter. I swear to Christ, I would have turned around and tried to run him down again… but that would have meant extra peddaling.

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