My friend Ann died last night.
At various points in the day, I’ve been in disbelief, in shock. I’ve gotten angry. I’ve gotten sad. I’ve been hating myself. I’ve been hating God.
For most of the day, I’ve been holding back. I’ve been at work, or around friends, and have tried to keep myself in check. Now, at home, I’m looking over old photographs. I’m trying to track down copies of poems Ann wrote while we were in school together.
I’ve been crying a lot. I think her death is only now, only slowly sinking in.
I have a lot to say, but I don’t think I can do much more than this this brief entry tonight. I’ll write more in the coming days.