The Vending Machine Challenge™, Part 1

December 9, 2005

First of all, let me set the stage. The brave gentleman you see before you is Anthony, outdoorsman, farmer, writer, former webmaster for Q101 and thrill-seeker extraordinaire. As he was a former coworker of ours, it’s only fitting that he return to the office to partake in our little challenge.

Behold: The Vending Machine Challenge™.

The rules? Eat one of every item from the office vending machine, during an entire work day, without getting sick. Doable? Possibly. Unhealthy? Most definitely.

Laid out on the table (minus the Cup of Ramen and Oatmeal), it doesn’t seem that daunting.

Anthony – the only one among us man enough to step up to the challenge. Here he is tackling his very first item – the package of oatmeal.

Believe it or not, between the time we photographed the vending machine and now, someone purchased both the Ramen and the oatmeal. Jane was kind enough to purchase these items from the store, and brought them in.

Anthony added way too much water to his oatmeal… but trooper that he is, ended up finishing the thing as is – soggy water and all!

And this? This right here folks is what separates Anthony from regular men. He shows up with a fucking PLAN.

Sidenote: Anthony’s been sick prior to today. In fact, his wife Cathie asked that he postpone the event, seeing as how he hasn’t really eaten solid food in the past two days. But, undaunted, Anthony’s decided to see the challenge through.

Anthony attacks a pack of Twizzlers. And really, who among us can spare the extra time it takes to rip off each individual piece of licorice? This is the image of efficiency.

About an hour into the challenge, Anthony seems to be pacing well. We calculated that given the total number of items (35) and the total amount of time (8 hours), someone would need to eat one snack every 13.7 minutes to finish on time.

Anthony assesses the situation.

About two hours in, Anthony decides to take a power nap. As he was sleeping, Ben threw on a blankie that he had at the office, back when his kids stopped in to visit.