A General Feeling of Anxiousness
I’m not sure if this is strictly a “on the way to work” post. Because it’s a generalized feeling that I think I tend to have more often than not. Something I carry with me, even over the weekends.
I have this general sense that I need to hurry and get X done by a certain time. Or that we need to arrive at X location before a certain time. That there is some giant clock ticking in the background, and we need to finish whatever we’re doing before some alarm goes off.
And in a very loose, existential way – this is a correct thought. We all have this invisible clock ticking away, that we should heed in one way or another.
But for me, it feels like an inhibitor. That there’s some artificial urgency that gets introduced, whenever I think about falling behind, or being late, or being behind.
It’s hard to pin down. I feel it most strongly when I’m walking from the train to my office. I’m in a rush to get to work to look over Slack, answer questions, get ahead on my work. It’s both a practical and ridiculous response, when I stop and think about it.
I’m still not sure where this feeling stems from. If it’s inherent in who I am, or if it’s a bad habit I can correct. I guess this post is me trying to identify and call this aspect of my personality out, in the hopes I can better identify it in the future.
[photo by Alex wong]