Cleaning Up the Basement
And to be honest, I haven’t felt motivated to do any of that work. My mind has still been primarily occupied with thinking about the Coronavirus, reading news, watching the world, scanning charts and graphs about my country, my city, and the cities where the people I love are living.
If I’m not doing that, I’m trying to find ways to actively distract or numb my brain. The idea of doing work work, house work, has been very far from my head.
Last night, we discussed a lower level task: cleaning up the basement. It’s not actual house work per se, but it’s necessary work. And the basement’s been overdue for some cleanup and reorganization.
Liz, shortly before saying “We are not allowed to buy any more paint brushes, ever.”
A view of the East side of the basement.
Looking west, with one of our carts rolled out of the way. I spent most of my time over here today, rearranging and picking up. My goal is usually to get rid of things if we can, but I end up just dusting things off and stacking them up again.
Liz, setting up the shop vac.
Her Team Feliz t-shirt that indicates she’s the coach, to be even more precise.
The wood, moved off the horses and stored in the corner. We’ve opened up the basement a little more as a result.
I have to confess: normally, if I’m not into doing house work, I’ll grumble a bit and it eventually goes away. Today, my heart really wasn’t in it (I made a joke to this effect earlier in the day), and I just stayed in a sour mood.
Liz was very patient with me, and we both agreed that I was ok up until lunch. And after that, I started going south.
To be clear: this wasn’t about me not wanting to do work, or not feeling up to clean. I had a fist in my chest the whole time, and it was something I just couldn’t shake.
There may be some future point where I feel back to normal again, but what we’re going through now feels far from normal to me. I’ve been worried about family, and even before that worried about food and stupid things like toilet paper and cans of soup.
I think that for Liz, she needs to keep active and to do things. It helps her, to keep her mind focuse on other tasks. For me, diving into ordinary chores and tasks is incredibly difficult, due to the dissonance between the mundane thing I’m doing and the world outside my window.
We did do a lot of work today, and though we have some more to do… the basement is in much better shape as a result of our efforts. And despite how much I dragged my feet.