Posted the above two comments earlier this morning, circa 3:30 AM. It’s now a bit after midnight.
Frustrating evening. I should have gone to sleep earlier last night, but instead I fucked up the files I was working with. I didn’t save a previous version and now, if I want to go "back" to where I was… I’ve got a lot of disassembling work to do.
During my tired state, I did some sloppy workarounds and quick fixes. Struggled for most of the evening tonight trying to make sense of what I did, and debating redoing everything from scratch.
To top it off, I’m trying to do the most basic of mail forms through Flash/PHP. The fact that this simple fucking procedure has stumped me has been putting me into a really foul mood. Imagine you have a big list of errands to run. Now imagine looking down at your shoes. Now imagine not knowing how to tie your own shoelaces.
That’s pretty much where I’m at right now.
The more work I put in, the more I realize how flawed and sloppy the work was that I did last night. And instead of making things better, each move, each addition just adds to the pile. For most of tonight, I didn’t feel like I was building. I felt like everything I touched cracked, became bloated, and worsened for my touching it. I wasn’t improving anything, I wasn’t bettering anything…
Feeling stupid because the simplest things feel like they’re seemingly beyond me. And then feeling stupid for letting something as stupid as this upset me.
