What the fuck?

Today was a strange day at work. During the middle of the day, I was overcome with what I can only describe as an overwhelming amount of frustration and stress. The weird fucking thing about all of this is that I’m not really all that busy with things at my job. At least, I’m nowhere close to busy compared to some other times that I can point out.

Today though, I started choking up at work. I couldn’t really talk to anyone, I wasn’t looking anyone else in the eyes. The few times I spoke my voice was low and quiet, cracking a bit even. To be perfectly candided, there were a few moments where I felt like I was going to break down right there and then.

Yeah. Like I said – totally fucking weird, and caught me by surprise as much as anyone else. Ben noticed, but I’m not sure if my mood was apparent to anyone else or not.

Ben and I left work for lunch, and I got a lot of things off my chest. It helped to just vent, and by the end of our meal, I was feeling pretty ok again.

I know I’m the type that pushes things down, choosing to store things away instead of confronting them directly. I’m trying to piece together what in the hell I’ve been ignoring that suddenly decided to bubble up and present itself today. It’s not like I’m incredibly unhappy, or particularly sad right now.

I think. I know that I take my job way to fucking seriously. That may not necessarily be all of it, but that’s a good part of it. I mean… I’m getting this worked up over my job, for god’s sake. What in the fuck.