What in the hell

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. There seems to be something I can’t shake that’s stayed with me since yesterday.

This feels like high school. When everything around you looks meaningless and grey. And there’s an ache in your chest, just below the throat.

The feeling I have right now, I want to dig it out with either liquor or cigarettes. The feeling I have right now, I can only concentrate on it when I’m alone and there’s no one else around. And it feels like it has to grow and get worse before it gets better.

I’m typing all this shit into an online journal that I’ve been keeping. Recording what I think and how I feel. Days like today.

Right now, I can’t tell if this helps or if it’s just plain pathetic.