Journey and Destination

Liz has let me know that, lately, I’ve not been very pleasant to be around.

The past few weeks have been… very busy, on all fronts. A lot of things happening at work, a lot of things happening at the house. We’ve had some moments of downtime, but it feels more like a fleeting pause as opposed to a chance to recharge.

As new tasks emerge, I’m finding myself tense and flustered. And quick to become irritated, when an already busy day feels like it becomes just a little busier.

I have a very strong tendency (it’s a gift and a curse) to forecast upcoming steps. If we need to go get more eggs at the store, my mind immediately jumps to: do we need it before the weekend? Can I stop on my way home from work? Will it be raining? Will going tomorrow delay laundry night? Better to go to a larger grocery store for a full run, as opposed to a quick fix?

And on and on. Sometimes, this kind of thinking helps spot potential efficiencies and gaps. And I think of it as just “planning.” But sometimes it spirals a bit out of control, where each decision or action fractures into different paths, each with their own outcomes and consequences. And my brain locks up a bit, as I’m trying to process and/or break out of what feels like a loop.

I started writing this more as a reminder to myself to favor the journey over the destination. I may have strayed from that initial notion a bit. Trying not to look at every step as a task is maybe a better way to phrase it. Instead of focusing on how to get through the day, focusing on the day itself.

[Photo via Matthew Kalapuch]

Learning How to Relax Again
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Robert Sapolsky – Documentary on Stress

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