Artful Dodger

After dinner, we decided to have a few more beers and headed to the Artful Dodger. A nice place, fairly quiet, dark, low key… and great, if you’re there before it gets too packed. There’s a dance floor in the back, which I’ve never seen and probably never will see. Not a big dancer, me.

Here’s a shot of the bar, from where Chelsea and I were sitting:

I finally got the nerve up to mention this blog, and to tell Chelsea that I talked a bit about her here. She wasn’t mad (which I was worried about), and thought my use of this online journal to keep myself writing was a good idea. I offered to give her the address, but she didn’t seem interested in reading it. While we were at the Artful Dodger, I opened up a great deal, and feel like I did get a lot off my chest. I think there’s still a lot that remains unsaid between us, but that will take time.

I’m not sure if she’s seeing anyone or not. I secretly would like to know, but I also really, really don’t want to know. At least, not yet. I didn’t ask, and Chelsea didn’t offer. There are still some subjects we dance around.

One thing she did say was that she thought Gretchen and I would be dating by now. Gretchen is someone who I know through my friend Justin, but only peripherally. Gretchen is drop dead gorgeous, smart as a whip, and a poet to boot. She is completely someone I could fall for, but my reaction on meeting her in person was immediately… "No. There’s no fucking way." Based on my personality, and what I’ve seen of her… there’s no way on God’s earth that I could see the two of us together. As cool as I find her, I know deep down I’m not someone she would find attractive. Someone like Justin, who’s more outgoing, more adventurous, more free… that’s more her style.

But… the fact that Chelsea thought this, that she imagined me and Gretchen together… that was flattering beyond belief! Before tonight, the bulk of our conversations have been "I did this and that. And a little of this. What have you done?" Really boring, mundane crap, with no substance. Tonight was nice, as we seemed to open up to one another more.

Talking with Chelsea tonight seemed good. I did experience several waves of sadness through the night, and had a hard time not staring at her directly… but I feel it was a healthy experience overall. I feel like we’re working towards a new definition of how we interact – defining some future between us despite our past.