Twitter Posts I Would Have Made During the Cruise, Had it Not Been for the Phone Sex Rates Being Charged for Internet Access

For all the smokers on this cruise, very few of them seem to know how to light their cigarettes in strong wind.
A lot of exposed, jiggling body flesh that I can now never un-see.
What is it with older men and their insistence on Speedo thongs?
If I fell overboard, even if someone saw me… at the rate this ship is moving, I would be totally fucked.
An old woman in a fancy gown just cut in front of me at the pastry shop and ganked the last brownie. Senility or willful malice?
Lots of senior citizens on this bus to see the ostrich farm.
So far, have witnessed two husbands “help” their overweight spouses onto the bus by pushing their rumps.
With all the waves and rocking of the ship, it seems cruel to be airing episodes of Deadliest Catch on the TV.
2nd day at sea: a butterfly moves cautiously, from person to person. It seems to have questions about where we are, where we are heading to.

This Post Has 0 Comments

Leave A Reply