A Low Level Anxiety

It’s hard to pin down things to any specific root cause, but lately I’ve had a low level feeling of anxiousness or worry.

I’m not overly stressed by work, which is good. I’ve had a nice cadence these last few weeks, and things have moved around a bit to where distractions and external requests are being routed to a single dev, leaving others room and space to focus on their work. I’m also working to be better about not veering too far away from my own work (again, due to external requests and questions).

So it’s hard to pin down why I have this unnamed sense of unease. Maybe it’s all the house work we’re trying to do, and trying to get done before the cold and end of year.

Liz jokes to me that I’m always like this, and that it’s in some ways a default state. Doesn’t really matter the job or the situation. And I’ve been thinking on that a lot, trying to feel out that sentiment.

Writing that out, that last statement doesn’t seem quite right. I’ve thought about how I view the world, and need to spend more time thoughtfully exploring what causes these reactions. But I don’t think I’ve slowed or calmed down enough to really do that. After a few beats, the next thing or task that needs completion pops into my head, and my attention diverts to that next and next.

[photo via Piotr Janus]

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