The Ratio of Secrets and Events

Today, I began thinking about You. Whoever is reading this thing that I update on a day to day basis. Unnamed, stranger, quiet observer who is You. And in thinking about you, I realized that there are certain expectations that have established themselves between us.

For me to write in this particular "style," I have to assume an audience. Hence, I have to imagine you are reading this.

For you to have any interest in reading my blatherings, let alone to come back the next day, I have to offer you some kind of incentive, some reward for reading through all this drivel. In short, I have to reveal some personal information, some juicy bit of information (preferably embarrassing) as enticement. The history side of what I do, day to day, the events, the happenings… don’t really matter much. You’re here to learn all the hidden stuff, what Billy Collins refers to as the "inky vortex of my soul."

Which raises a good question. What have you done for me lately? Hm?

Ah well. For the time being, it looks like I need you more than you need me. So here goes:

I am currently about 3 shots into my bottle of Jim Beam. I’m feeling somewhat lightheaded, and happy, which is weird because I’ve been sad and mopey the entire week. For the past three minutes, I’ve been nodding my head and dancing (somewhat) to "Pick Up the Pieces" by Average White Band. It’s now switched over to the Peanuts Theme Song, and I’m really getting into it.

Happy now?

Does this mean you’re going to come back tomorrow?

Please?