Elevator Certificates of Inspection

On the way in to work today, I noticed that the posted elevator inspection form was actually a “Conditional Certificate of Inspection.” I’m sure there’s no real danger here, but seeing the word CONDITIONAL in uppercase (and repeated at least four times) made me a little wary.

Note that this elevator was the same one that’s had some weird messages in the past.

The above elevator was for the parking garage, near my work. This certificate is in the elevator within my actual workplace. Nice and official, all good.

What caught my eye here was the notice of “NO SMOKING” superimposed across the certificate. It made me wonder when they started printing that on the actual certificates, whether it was a legal thing, or just the city trying to be efficient about posting notices.

It also got me thinking about that one jackass, who just couldn’t wait until the ground floor to light up his cigar. And so forevermore, we’re wasting ink so that people don’t try to light up between floors.

Worse Than a Few Screws Loose
Mysterious Warning
Elevators, Like God, Make No Promises
All safe, gentlemen. All safe.

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