Early Morning Anthropomorphism
Each morning, in addition to serving up Baxter her greens, I throw in an ample amount of hay as part of her breakfast. Recently, we got a new brand of hay. And every morning, as I’m reaching for the bag, I run through the same, silly little scenario in my head.
First off, I imagine that I’m a Dr. Dolittle kind of sheriff in a very rural, sleepy farm town. And I’m visiting a farm to investigate a robbery. Someone, I know, is responsible for breaking in to the grain silo, and making off with the goods.
As I interrogate the lineup of suspects, I imagine their voices. Going left to right, this is what I hear in my head:
I didn’t do it.
I didn’t do it.
I didn’t do it.
I WAS NEVER… I DIDN’T GO NEAR… WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME? WHAT’S WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS?
Felix, you are insane! But in a good way.
juliet (August 7, 2009 at 10:35 pm)funny and absurd enough that it should be illegal to read this at 1:40a
nickd (August 8, 2009 at 1:39 am)That’s hilarious! Btw, what the heck is that last guy? Rabbit, chinchilla, guinea pig, ????
Marty J. (August 8, 2009 at 11:19 am)I think its a ground hog, but I could be wrong since I don’t know anyone who has a pet ground hog.
Liz (August 9, 2009 at 11:19 am)Marty–It’s a prairie dog.
Mellzah (August 9, 2009 at 2:57 pm)You mean a GUILTY prairie dog.
avoision (August 9, 2009 at 4:31 pm)Only if you don’t believe in due process!
Mellzah (August 10, 2009 at 1:45 am)You city folk always get me, with your “due process” and “Miranda rights” and “evidence.” We do things differently, out here in the country.
avoision (August 10, 2009 at 6:14 am)Lol…do people have prairie dogs as pets??? That seems…odd.
Marty J. (August 12, 2009 at 9:47 pm)