Struggle Run

Went on a run today with Liz, and had a really, really rough time.

It’s been at least two weeks since my last run, and I’m not sure what I was expecting. I was hoping to just be automatically better, but I had to stop several times to walk on a 2 mile run. I felt frustrated, and felt that I should somehow have been doing better (despite not having run in the last few weeks).

I think I’m in a mental place that’s not productive, a place that I had prior to last year. I have expectations of myself, and today viewed running as a singular outcome. Instead of viewing it as a process, as a set of incremental improvements.

Today felt like a reminder of all the wrong ways to approach running. It wasn’t pleasant. I viewed it as an outcome-based task. And the whole run felt confrontational.

Deep down, I know that I actually like the process of running. And don’t want this whole outcome mentality to get in the way of the enjoyment of the process. There’s a physical side to things (waking up early, getting your body accustomed to discomfort)… but today felt more like a mental challenge.

I didn’t like running today. But I’m trying to take a step back, and remember all the reasons I do like running. And figure out how, the next time I run, I think about those goals instead.

[CC photo via Martin Sanchez]

Related:
Morning Run
Cold Run, Snow Men
Christmas in Indy, Day 4: Running Along the Monon Trail, Playing Wavelength, Learning How to Cheat, Christmas Eve Toast
Running Cold in the Cold